(Tom) Cruise (and his lack of) Control

In the Page Six piece called "Eyes Wide Nut", apparently Tom Cruise has been acting the fool about his new babe/beard (depending on who you axe) Katie Holmes.

Now, she's pretty cute and I wouldn't toss her out of bed for eating a pizza - heck, I'd order the pizza - but after tagging Nicole Kidman, isn't Holmes working down the food chain? This is assuming he's actually hitting it, something heavily questioned in the piece.

HE's leaping on couches! He's smooching for the cameras! He's swearing to Reader's Digest, "I love women"! He's . . . " . . . nutso!" says an A-list celeb publicist who can't believe the embarrassing display Tom Cruise has been putting on to hawk his little-believed romance with Katie Holmes. "The Oprah segment made me want to puke."

If Cruise is going to remain one of the biggest movie stars in the world instead of a laughingstock - remember, even
Michael Jackson was on top once - he needs a quick infusion of p.r. advice, stat.

Cruise fired his longtime publicist Pat Kingsley, possibly the most feared and respected name in the business, last year only to replace her with his less experienced sister, Lee Anne DeVette, a fellow Scientologist.

Now he threatens to vaporize himself with his own p.r. death rays as he attacks planet Earth with media appearances to promote his movie "War of the Worlds."

In recent days he has:

‡ Jumped on Oprah's couch to scream, "I'm in love! I'm in love!" while throwing his hands in the air. "I can't be cool, I can't be laid-back. It's something that has happened, and I feel I want to celebrate it. I want to celebrate her." (Page Six reported that he stammered twice when Oprah asked how he met her, a charge his team denied).