"Help! I'm A Hollywood Republican!"

It's too long to copy here in its entirety, but definitely read Emmy Award-winning writer Robert J. Avrech's article about the mindless liberalism that rules Hollywood. After reading this, I'm beginning to wonder if Michael Medved's take on declining B.O. take may be more right-on than I thought.

I understood that though Hollywood professed to be “open and tolerant,” when it came to religion — any religion, except for something harmless and fashionable like new-age Buddhism — Hollywood was as open as, well, the KKK.

In truth, most Hollywood people have been perfectly respectful of my Orthodoxy. In fact, several have gone out of their way to accommodate the shooting schedules of the films I’ve been involved with. Usually, these have been the Gentiles. The Jews are another story entirely.

This brings me to my second secret life.

I’m a Republican. A heretofore secret Hollywood Republican. I know men and women who are heavy drug addicts and they have no problem finding employment in Hollywood. I know men and women who are gambling addicts and they work pretty regularly. There’s even a director who was arrested for child molestation and yet was hired by Disney — yes, Disney — to helm a picture, and people defended this decision by saying even child molesters have a right to work. I would bet my bottom dollar that all these people are on the correct side of the political spectrum. They are liberal democrats.

Me, I’m a Republican. A conservative Republican. I believe passionately in free market capitalism. I believe in the Second Amendment, i.e., the right to bear arms (I even own several guns and go to the shooting range with friends from shul several times a month). I despise communism and fascism, and I believe there is a special place in hell for Islamic totalitarians and their Western apologists — probably 99.9 percent of Hollywood people.

Let’s be clear about one thing. Hollywood people are glamorous. But that’s about it. They are ill informed about jihad. They are ill informed about Islam. They are ill informed about Israel, the PA, Iraq, Afghanistan. They are ill informed about U.S. history, the Constitution, etc. The truth is, the movie people I’ve met are ignorant about most everything — save the weekend grosses of the top ten films. That they know like human computers.

Like most Brooklyn Jews, I was raised a Democrat, voted Democrat for years and years, and believed, absolutely, that Republicans were evil. That’s what we were taught from birth, right? Democrats are for the poor and the oppressed, and Republicans are for rich people and big corporations. Who questioned such sophisticated political analysis?

But as I grew older and watched the Democratic party turn into an alien entity run by vulgar race hustlers and anti-Semites cloaked as “mere” anti-Zionists — an alien entity that increasingly refused to confront, much less despise, communism — I realized that this was no longer the party that reflected my national or my Jewish aspirations.

The presidency of Jimmy Carter was the last straw. The man was truly ineffectual. I switched to the Republicans and never looked back.

Hollywood, once upon a time, was one of the most patriotic colonies on the planet. During World War II, Frank Capra made a series of propaganda films titled “Why We Fight.” Marlene Dietrich put herself through a most grueling schedule visiting and entertaining our troops and selling war bonds. Jimmy Stewart joined the Air Force. Numerous movie stars put their careers on hold to help the war effort. These men and women loved America and understood who the enemy was and why the enemy had to be not only defeated but obliterated from the face of the earth.

Look at Hollywood now. Sean Penn goes to Iraq and apologizes for American war crimes. Hollywood’s patron saint is Michael Moore, its liturgy his package of lies, the movie “Fahrenheit 9/11.” When this film had its Hollywood premiere, the red carpet was choked with stars just dying to make an anti-Bush statement. We’re talking about movie stars who know basically nothing about politics. To call them fools would be generous. I have spent time with too many of these people, and believe me, if you’re not talking about how beautiful or how talented they are, the conversation sort of just dies.

It is, I kid you not, a badge of honor in Hollywood to hate America. These airheads who have amassed millions through the free market economy constantly spout nonsense about the need for a Scandinavian style socialist government. They don’t even know that the Scandinavian countries are economic basket cases. I’m not making this up. They actually cruise Sunset Strip in their Bentleys and accuse Republicans of being greedy.

He then details the bizarre and futile writing process of two films - one about terrorism and the other a biopic about Rush Limbaugh. The first is ruined because the suits demand that the Islamic characters be treated as anything but bad guys while the real bad guys are, get this, Timothy McVeigh militia types. (Yeah, they're really active these days, aren't they.) The Rush picture sounded pretty true to the source and didn't mince showing how lonely the Maha Rushie is, but the suits sacked Avrech and brought in a loyal Democratic hack to craft a proper hit piece. Nice. Sure it'll be popular with those who liked "The Reagans."

Last year the Dutch film director Theo Van Gogh was murdered in Holland at the hands of Islamic extremists. It was a gruesome murder. There was not one word of protest from the Hollywood community. Because of liberal political correctness, the 2002 version of Tom Clancy’s “The Sum of All Fears” transformed Palestinian terrorists into European neo-Nazis.

The Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR) has been leaning very heavily on Hollywood the past few years and the film industry is, frankly, terrified. According to CAIR, not a single Muslim should ever be portrayed as a terrorist on film, reality be damned.

The sad truth is that behind the dashing and courageous Hollywood characters up on the screen sit a bunch of cowards. A group of craven men and women who have little love for this country and who have no idea that Islamic terrorists are working hard to bring down the foundations of civilization.

These Hollywood liberals spend their lives negotiating. They believe that when the time comes they will sit down with Osama bin Laden and cut a deal. Imagine how surprised they’ll be when the cold blade hits their necks. Imagine their shock when they realize there is no negotiating with barbarians; that Osama makes no distinctions between Democrats and Republicans, between observant Jew and Buddhist chanting Jew. I hope it never comes to that, but imagine such a story line.

Actually, it would make a pretty good movie. I should try and pitch it.